It is difficult being a mother. Giving up your own sanity and welcoming chaos daily is hard to get used to. We do it, but it doesn't mean that it isn't difficult.
Sometimes I find myself taking them for granted. I forget that their "babiness" won't last for long and that I need to cherish every moment that I get with them. I feel guilty a lot of the time because I forget to see. I forget that their smile and laugh are the only things that I am going to miss 20 years from now when they are leaving to start their own lives. I won't miss the clean house or the photo paycheck from working overtime. I won't miss the nights out with friends to "get away" from my craziness. I won't miss quiet time that I relish every day. I will miss them and their small smiles and giddy laughs. I will miss their innocent beauty and soft touch. I will miss Ava's voice, Ellie's questions, and Claire's hugs. I will miss my babies.
When that day comes and I can't stand the sadness that I feel in my heart, I will take out these pictures and watch them play in the sun.
